If you divorce you will be alone forever. The older you are the less likely you will never find someone else to share your life with and you can never be in the same place at the same time as your ex partner. Your life will be one of misery and loneliness.
How often have we heard these old wives tales without one shred of evidence to show that these situations actually happen. Let’s go into them a little more in depth below.
Being alone forever:
Being over 40 and contemplating a divorce no-one will want to be with you again and you will end up old and alone. Is this reason enough for you to stay in a loveless marriage. Chances are you are probably feeling very alone right now. Trying to start a new life can be a very daunting task and you will have worries and doubts about what may happen in the future. These days there are so many options where you can meet new people and start new friendships and who knows the love of your life could be among them. Being older is not a barrier, you are more settled and wiser in the ways of the world and this is an absolute positive not a negative.
Living together before marriage:
This is a very misleading judgement. There are those who swear that living together first is a precursor for a long and happy marriage. The logic there is that you get to know a person and their habits a lot better and so will be more able to determine whether you can live with each other in harmony. Then there is the other school of thought where living apart before marriage enhances the expectations and excitement about going into the unknown and you have the fun of getting to know each other as you go along. There is no right or wrong in these theories. It comes down to the individual and what feels right for them.
Loneliness and misery:
Life is what you make it not what someone tells you may or may not happen. If you are convinced that after divorce you won’t find anyone else to share your life with then more than likely that will become true. Negative thinking does nothing for your state of mind after a divorce. All it does is validate all these misconceptions that are out there. On the other hand a good positive attitude will open many more doors for you to explore all the never ending adventures that are out there. You will only be alone and miserable if you choose to live that way. It all comes down to the choices that you make. Divorce is not the end of the world.
Property entitlement:
This is getting into the more legal aspects of a divorce but there are some common facts that apply. Before you buy a house you need to do some research on the matrimonial act and what it entails. For instance if the property is not in joint names and only one person’s name is on the title then that is not legally communal property even though you bought it together. The name that is on the title is the legal owner. Always make sure the title is in joint names and don’t settle for anything less. If in the future you do divorce then half of the value of the house is yours regardless of who made the payments.
Divorce is a two way street:
As in any arguments or conflict it takes two people to be involved. Whatever issues that have led to divorce the blame must be shared. It is not just one person’s fault. All you can do is learn from mistakes that are made on both sides and don’t let divorce define you as a person.
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